...

Look at the things around you through my eyes — the eyes of the soul. Everything around you is the imagination of the soul — vibrating energy that has taken form. Observe the beauty of creation that you yourself are. Everything around you right now — the house you live in, the animals beside you, the nature you perceive with your eyes, wherever you may be. Slowly, you will begin to understand how everything arises. It comes into being in the very moment you are present. Right where you are now, you can witness your ability to allow — your willingness to let your own energy overflow into your life as abundance. 

Feel your true passions within you. Remember what it feels like when they are filled with light. Do not place them in your thoughts. There is almost no light in the mind. Thoughts carry no energy until you place it there. The moment you begin to play with light — infusing it with your feeling — true creation begins. Light must flow through you without force and without agenda. The instant you assign it a task, in that same moment, the light will assign one to you. An everyday example, as old as the world itself: if you ask the light to change the world, the world will ask you to change. 

And remember gratitude… A whisper of the soul to the human.

Vasara 2024

...

I was far away again — so far it felt as if my heart might stop beating, as if life itself would cease to move through me. That far. Perhaps I still am. There is no strength in me. No desire. No passion. No movement. Only the damn mind thinking and thinking, driving me further into a barren inner wasteland. Everything feels compressed into the same flat tone — black and white. Maybe gray. I don’t know. I don’t care.

And then, suddenly, indescribably beautiful moments open — moments in which I feel so tender, so warm, so deeply with myself. In those moments I want to cry in gratitude, even though the tears have long since run dry. For a brief instant, I am here again. Home. I take a breath — and then, with wild speed, the gray essence of the old world pulls me back in. Without mercy. Back to the place where the mind thinks nonstop, where thoughts are taken as self and from them reality is shaped.

The strangest part is that I know this. I am aware of it. And yet right now it cannot be controlled — only observed. Only observed. What to do with it — that is mine to decide. Where to be. How to be. What to create. What to allow. And for how long. Not through control, but through trust. Completely differently. None of this can be “worked through.” None of it. Only to observe myself and see what still serves me there and what I am gaining from it. These programs reveal themselves so beautifully — if I allow myself to see them. The secondary gain.

Mostly, this story is about trusting myself. About smallness and victimhood. About taking responsibility. Do I still need that? Really? In theory, everything has long been clear. Now it feels like an exam. Funny. An exam I arranged for myself. So be it. I simply breathe through it. And those beautiful moments of light are like fine but steady threads leading home — reminding me that home is here. Right here. All it takes is choosing, and they open like a path, like breath, like endless space and light. Only trust. And that responsibility has expanded into something entirely different, opening within me a new way of seeing. So beautiful. So simple. I am already here.

Vasara 2024

...

The last day of the year. It has been a long time since I experienced a day this beautiful. The air is so clear. The sun has been shining all day, and the snow glitters white in its gentle light. All the winds have fallen silent. The tall trees around the house stand solemn and still, their branches extended like open arms, radiating absolute peace. A small tit lands on my windowsill and watches as I write. And I know — these final hours are a story only about me. The rest of the world has faded, withdrawn into unreachable distance. Only my reality remains now. And all of it belongs solely to this moment. I savor every passing minute. Today, solitude has been gifted to me — a solitude filled with myself and gratitude. I am grateful to the depths of my heart for every event and every experience I have lived through in these past years, and for the people who were present within them, no matter what was experienced. I have never before said goodbye so deeply and so fully to what has finished existing within me. I listen inward. I feel. Today I allow myself to do only what flows through me without force. And these are entirely different things from what I have been accustomed to doing on this day throughout my life.

At one moment, unexpectedly, one of my old notebooks fell from the table — a notebook I had not opened in a long time. It opened by itself. Inside were my reflections and insights about my book “The Silent One.” I had completely forgotten that I had once written those words. And now it resonates so deeply with everything I recognize as already having happened. Not through the mind anymore — but here, in the heart
and far beyond it.

“The Silent One” is an uncomfortable book. Stripped. Bare. Honest. It invites you to look where you have always avoided looking. Within yourself. At that point where you know you will see where you have been hiding — pretending to be anything at all just to avoid meeting your true self. Why? Because you will see that you have been playing. Forgetting. Becoming trapped in the narrow corridors created by your own mind. You may still try to play through the illusion that somehow you will get lucky and arrive directly in bliss. But you have no idea that along the way you will have to meet yourself in all the forms and roles from which your hair will stand on end. Hundreds of times you will turn away just to avoid seeing it. Hundreds of times you will pretend that none of it is there. Yet each time you will be peeled like an onion. And it will hurt. You will resist — and it will hurt more. You will resist even harder — and it will hurt even more. Until you surrender. The rose-colored glasses will shatter. Perhaps a shard will cut you — and it will not feel pleasant. Not pleasant at all. Every illusion you once followed, listened to, clung to — will dissolve. Everything will collapse. The ground will seem to slip from beneath your feet. And there will be no one to blame. You may want to fight. To continue resisting. To find a way around what stands before you — relentless, seemingly indifferent, uncompromising in its unconditional clarity, rejecting every attempt to pretend again, to play again, to put on yet another mask and slip past unnoticed. But what stands before you will polish you like a diamond. Until, in the middle of your path, you stand bare and clear — allowing, permeable. The real you. Transformed into the Silent One. 

And suddenly you see that the one standing opposite you is yourself. Your being. Your energy. Your consciousness. Your true essence. It was playing back to you the roles you demanded within yourself. You were playing with your own reflection, and the main instrument was your mind and its projections — perfectly aligned with the limits of your awareness. Then confusion will arise. For a time there may be shame. A sense of smallness. A desire to cover yourself, to hide, to disappear. For a while. Perhaps. Until you gather the courage to stop turning away. And you begin to feel that your nakedness and this clarity are the long-awaited return. Home. Far more beautiful and fulfilling than all the role-playing and masquerades that had become so ingrained you no longer knew how not to perform. And each conscious moment in this nakedness begins to fill you with a different feeling — a free awareness. You see differently. You feel differently. Moment by moment. Each one expanding you, so you can allow more and more free awareness to move through you. For whom? For yourself. For your life. For your reality. And then the one who stood before you as teacher steps aside. You move on. Free. And you realize that there is nowhere to go. The teacher was always you. There is no other. You are whole. And that realization changes everything.

31.12.2025.

...

Solstice time. Christmas time. The end of the year — a natural moment to look back at all that has unfolded. It feels as though this year I have passed through a stage of ultimate crystallization — one that refined me, stripped things away, reshaped me. At times, it even brushed against the feeling of hell itself. In such moments, it can seem as though these changes and releases will never end — as if they are endless processes stretching into infinity.

Yesterday, a memory returned — the moment when all of this truly began, many years ago. Back then, only one question echoed within me: Who am I? Not superficially — but to the bone, to the very core of my being. The resonance it created seemed to vibrate through every layer of my existence. Unforgettable.And then it began… I could never have imagined that one small question would unleash an avalanche. It was as if the rope holding a raft to the shore had been cut, sending it into a river filled with relentless rapids. To keep it afloat on that journey, I had to keep throwing things overboard — the accumulated clutter and debris I had once believed I could carry with me. At times, I could barely hold onto the raft itself, as even the protective edges I leaned on were torn away by the rushing current. Confusion and incomprehension were my companions for a long stretch of that passage — until acceptance slowly began to take root, as I recognized the blessing carried by my river, rapids and all. Then I could sit down and grow still. I could see that the debris was long gone. That the raft was steady. Adapted to the curves of the river, as if it had been made precisely for this journey. It did not think about what waited beyond the next bend. It moved forward steadily into the unknown. And within me, trust began to grow. Later, surrender. The realization that this stretch of the journey could not have been walked on dry land. Yes, I could have wandered for ten or twenty more years, looking to the sky for answers — but this was the shortest path.
And it was one I had created myself. Created within me.

Has it become easier? Was it worth it? Absolutely. As trust opened, the river itself began to change — because I allowed myself to change. It grew calmer. Wider. There was nothing left to fight — not the current, not the rapids, not the old debris. The turbulence settled. And I began to observe. The raft. The river. Myself. And where I stand now. What I see is this: This final year of refinement has shaped new facets within me — ones I did not even know existed. And now they refract extraordinary beams of light, slowly illuminating the path ahead. I have no idea what waits beyond the next bend of the river. But deep within, I know it will be wondrous. And for now, that knowing is enough.

25.12.2025.

...

How much do we carry within us that is not truly ours? How much of what lives in us was placed there by ancestors, by other people, by society? How many borrowed lenses have shaped the way we were taught to look at this world — and to experience life through them? And you? How much do you see this world clearly, without layers placed upon your vision? Even your own path? I am not saying that all of this is wrong or bad — not at all. But everything has its time. It served you — until the moment you became aware that it no longer does. It has completed its work. And now it is ready to be released. With gratitude. With warmth in your heart. Return all the instructions and tools that are not yours to those who once handed them to you. It is time. Time for yourself. Time to see your own tools, yourself, and the path you will shape with your own hands. The direction — and how to walk it — you will choose by listening inward, to your heart, to the whispers of your soul. Clear as a mountain stream. Like a bird’s song in the early morning before the rest of the world awakens. Like a breath of fresh air after rain. Like a gentle breeze that moves through your hair as you stand at the beginning of your path. Free. Yourself.

02.12.2025.

...

In the past few days, the inner tension within me reached its highest point. I am aware that everything that has happened is reshaping my entire life — everything, as I once perceived it. My mind kept trying to draw lines connecting who I was before to who I am now. It doesn’t work. I feel like a dog shaking off water from its fur — wanting to shake all of this off. Even the desires and dreams that once lived within me do not look the same anymore. I cannot see them as I did before. It is simply not possible. 

What has happened has transformed it all. They do not fit into my present. There is no need for them to exist in the way they once did. My perception has shifted so profoundly in just these few weeks that I myself cannot yet fully grasp it. Right now, I know absolutely nothing. And I do not need to know. That is why the mind creates tension — because it struggles to accept that everything has changed. I know only one thing: nothing from before is possible anymore, and nothing from before is necessary. 

And strangely, I am at peace with my “I don’t know.” It is the reality of this moment. And it feels almost sacred — as strange as that may sound. Because it is my permission for something new to open within me. And right now, that is immeasurable.

01.12.2025.

...

The story was never about fixing your life or walking away from it. It has always been about remembering and returning. Returning to your silence. Returning home. And from that point, your entire world shifts. Everything begins within you — and ends there. You are both a lighthouse and a projector. Only multidimensional. Yet this process involves more than light and the ability to project. There are other elements just as essential to creation: your energy, your darkness, and the presence of your awareness.

Your energy carries not a single gram of force — nor does your darkness. Your energy is always present within the darkness — within an inert space, let us call it that. But it is not empty. It is filled with your potentials. Millions. Billions of possibilities waiting to be created. And even “darkness” is only a human word for that space. What has been missing is your awareness. You stand at the threshold. The door is open. You opened it yourself — though in truth, it was never closed. You had only turned your back and forgotten. Forgotten who you are. And quietly, the lighthouse has begun to shine brighter, because you are standing in the doorway, turned toward home — and the light responds to your presence. In that moment, remembrance awakens within you. Awareness dissolves all boundaries. There are no doors anymore. No separation. No seeking. The games fade. The thousands of roles. The weight of human facets. Only you remain — what you truly are. Wholeness. A sovereign creator. You no longer think about the lighthouse emitting light, or the lens projecting events, or the energy you once searched for everywhere but within yourself, or the darkness that frightened you because it had become unknown, or the longing to understand consciousness — which can never be grasped by the mind. All of it becomes simple. And you are home.

Then you no longer ask anything of life. Life simply flows through you, and you enjoy it — because the entire world has shifted in that moment. You are the point from which everything arises. And you know it. You are everything you perceive, because you create it all. There is no other… A whisper of the soul to the human.

27.06.2025.

...

“The Choice” stands before me on the windowsill. Written. Published. Given its physical form. At the end of summer, I felt a powerful urge to finish it. Once I began, each word and every event in the story propelled the next. I did not understand the urgency within me. I wanted to complete it as quickly as possible — and just as quickly hold it in my hands. If I am honest, I barely understood what was happening. I could not follow it all consciously. I simply came to my senses as if waking from a dream, standing before boxes of freshly printed books, opening them one by one…

Now, more clearly than ever, I understand that I was unconsciously rushing myself because somewhere in my heart I sensed inevitable change. I could not define it. I could not put it into words. Just as sudden and powerful was my journey to the ocean. The book boxes had only just been opened, and within days I was already there. What I experienced this time was immeasurably deep and intense. All I could do was surrender to it, with a strange premonition resting at the back of my mind. Everything felt so vast it seemed it might grind me like a grain between millstones. Nature revealed its force as never before — granting me the long-dreamed-of storm at the ocean’s edge, when the wind knocks you off your feet while sweeping every last fragment of thought from your mind. A wild ride across the raging sea in a tiny boat — like a shoe — toward the island that draws me with tremendous force each time I see it in the distance. Green hills, already turning rust-colored, called me to climb to their summits and beyond, until physical exhaustion became sweeter than sleep. A wedding in a castle to which I was not invited, yet where I could be quietly present — drinking tea in a wood-paneled reading room warmed by soft light, large windows opening onto a fairytale park with ancient trees, hearing every word the young couple promised to one another. And above all — the relentless crunch of stones beneath the soles of my boots. In its intensity, this encounter surpassed all my previous meetings with the ocean and the emerald hills. And within myself, I could clearly feel the crack — the sound of another shell breaking open inside me. For the first time, all the way to the airport, I wept as never before — in absolute clarity and purity. I felt I had lost something immense and gained something immeasurably vast at the same time.I simply did not know what.

Now I know. I had to finish the book exactly when I did. I had to break into a thousand pieces exactly then. Just a short while before only light would remain on the stage of my life where my father had been standing. It could not have happened differently. I needed to meet that moment as I was — open and expanded. He met the book, though he did not have time to read it while he was still on this side. Now his story in this world has been told. And mine — we will read differently in the evenings, with him looking over my shoulder, present between the words and the lines. And for now, that awareness is enough.

26.11.2025.

...

Lately, I feel as though a certain boundary within me is slowly dissolving — a line that once enclosed a vast chapter of my life. It held me within a kind of limitation that, for many years, felt natural — almost invisible, perhaps only sensed. I am fully aware that I was the one holding myself there. But that was the script of the play. I simply played the role given to me — and I played it well. It may sound proud, yet I know it is true. We all are remarkable actors on the stage of Earth — immersed in our performances, tasting every shade of emotion these roles and stories can offer. And then, suddenly, the play ends. Before me remains only a brightly lit space on the stage — empty. As a human being, I cannot truly know what choices a soul made before stepping into this shared field of experience — becoming, for many years of my life, support, guidance through lessons, and love. From my place on the stage, I cannot see the greater design while the play is still unfolding. No matter how conscious I may be, I will never fully know another’s path within the greater plan. Only my own. Only the role I have chosen to play. And the moments where our paths touched. For some reason, it was all necessary — exactly as it happened. And perhaps, if we knew how every story would end, none of us would agree to enter the play at all, wishing to avoid the pain and sorrow that often wait at the final curtain.

Now the brightly illuminated stage stands empty. There is confusion. There is grief. And yet, I have played this game before. I recognize this moment as one of gain — even if it is painful. Within me, another kind of completeness has opened. When someone leaves, they never leave emptiness behind. They leave a quiet gift within the other. To see it, to feel it, to value it, to receive it as a gift — there is nothing greater or more beautiful in this human experience. But seeing it is a choice. Yes, nothing will ever be the same again. That is no longer possible. And I will never again be the one I was yesterday. Today, I am different. Perhaps even my way of expressing what I feel will change through this experience. Perhaps today I write differently. Because somewhere in my depths, a small seed has begun to sprout — a seed that may grow into immeasurable freedom. Another story on Earth has been lived and released, leaving behind only a clear imprint of light within me. And that is my gain in this experience.

As I become aware of all this, it feels as if I am standing at the edge of the stage, and before me open vastness and depth I was never able to grasp before. It simply was not yet time. The play had to be lived fully — and allowed to dissolve into light. Only once it ends do I understand its value. Only then do I see what remains. And in what remains, space appears for new stories — my stories. Stories filled with remembrance of who I truly am. Until now, I saw myself through the prism of this shared play. Now, I may choose to step off the stage. I may choose to speak in my own voice — without a stage, without a role, without an audience. And that is all I need.

25.11.2025.

...

Today there is a strange, almost otherworldly peace within me. Acceptance? I don’t know. Not exactly. And yet… something more. Another quiet alignment with who I am right now — and with what lies beyond me, far outside the borders of my conscious awareness. It feels as if I have finally slipped through the narrow neck of a bottle and found myself in open space. But it is not the human version of freedom — not the kind where you jump with joy, breathe in deeply, lose yourself in excitement, and want to shout it to the world.There is none of that. You simply know, inwardly, that you are out. And that is enough. For now, that is enough. It is neither good nor bad. It is another expansion within. And I have no idea what to do with it. There is a subtle stirring inside — a quiet foretaste of what may come — yet this time I do not even wish to hope or imagine what that might be. Everything feels deeper, wider, different. It has never been like this before. There is peace. There is expansion. And there is the knowing that everything ahead will be entirely unlike anything that has been until now. So there is no point in overthinking it. My limited human mind can only push me back into the bottle. Do I want that? No. Not anymore. Enough.

28.12.2024.

...

Yes, there will be good days and difficult ones. There is no escaping either of them. This is no longer a story about you alone, as you once imagined. It is about your entire being now. Everything within you is shifting. Every aspect. Every facet. The conscious and the unconscious alike. And now, at last, you carry the wisdom not to interfere with these changes. To allow them. To respect what is unfolding within you. Be gentle with yourself on those days when you cannot find peace or a place of rest inside. When discomfort arises — perhaps even physical pain or a heaviness in the body — and you know there is no visible reason for it. Honor your transformation. Accept it. Trust yourself. Remain calm and observe your feelings. Everything is all right. It truly is. That is why you are here this time. Nothing else truly matters… A whisper of the soul to the human.

04.01.2025.

...

To feel. To feel yourself. Not only the human — but your whole being, far beyond the human. To taste your vastness through every possible sense — even those beyond the physical. And then to let it enter you — the human, here. Right here. To allow the human body to tremble in awe and wonder, until the human self steps back in shock. Let the confusion grow so immense that the unimaginable beauty can finally pour through and flood every corner of your human reality — washing out the waste, the foolishness, the fears and limitations. Let remembrance flow. Let freedom be felt — without the need to understand or explain it.

What would this give to the human? To you? Everything and nothing. Confusion and fulfillment. And finally something you will never be able to explain to others — only to live it, like a free fall into the void somewhere between heaven and earth, in a delight you have never allowed yourself to experience. You will want more. But the more you want it, the less you will ever reach it. And perhaps then you will learn to grow still. To fall silent within yourself. Perhaps then you will understand what it means to remember — and not to desire. What it is to feel… A whisper of the soul to the human.

12.11.2024.

...

Today it feels as if something as heavy as a bear has settled upon me. A sleepy, heavy bear. There is no real reason for heaviness right now, and yet a slowed-down perception of the world accompanies every step of this morning. My eyelids feel thick, and all I want to do is sleep. I find myself wondering at people who can chatter loudly or do heavy work at this hour. Behind the café window, one man is paving the sidewalk, another is pushing a wheelbarrow filled with gravel. They seem to belong to a parallel reality. Unreal figures hurrying past the glass, each absorbed in his own world and game. I sit and watch. That is all I can do this morning — be an observer, quietly marveling at what unfolds beyond the window. I have no strength for anything else. And that is alright. For this morning, it is enough.

Not far away, an elderly woman stands with bouquets of tulips and daffodils. Bright, beautiful colors. They tempt a smile out of me. I want to smile. Young people are immersed in the depths of their phones, not even lifting their heads toward the colors. I do not even have the energy to pick up my own phone, let alone do anything with it. It feels good in this bear-like heaviness and calm. A strange kind of bear’s peace. Unusual to feel it in every cell of my body. It has been a long time since I felt this way. I am learning not to resist it. I know it will shift again soon.

The brief flash of the old woman’s flowers already drew a smile from me — and that means something in the future has already changed. Bears can smile too, despite their winter sleep. Perhaps they even smile in their dreams. Who knows? Right now I am smiling, unable to stop. Maybe I look foolish — sitting here, writing and smiling in the early morning light of an almost empty café, sipping lukewarm coffee and enjoying raspberry cake. Bears like raspberries…

Truth be told, I meant to write about something entirely different...

31.01.2025.

...

My world is as deep as the ocean. One can drown in it — and one can live within it… A human being.

Do not speak. Do not tell anyone anything. There is no need. No one will ever be able to see your world in the vastness of the ocean where you create and then live what you have created. These are only your feelings. Your world. Your depths. Your creation.After all, let everyone search for their own oceans and their own depths. You have only yours, and others have only theirs. Beautiful, isn’t it? Unimaginably beautiful. And even in those brief moments when worlds touch — that too is beautiful. Whatever others feel or think will only be their awareness of that moment of encounter —their way of perceiving it through the size and shape of their own consciousness. Their projections. Their needs. Not yours.

Remain in your depths. At last, love your oceans — the world you feel and hold within your heart.
Only through that do you enter it, exist in it, and become fulfilled.There is no other way. No other path. And only you decide when you open yourself to it. Not even I. I simply am — and I love you. That is all. Now it is your turn not only to receive my love, but to open yourself to it — to let it flow into every cell, every part of your being, and to love yourself for all that you are — a world as deep as the ocean... A whisper of the soul to the human.

10.10.2024.